So it appears as though this blog is about goofy things that kids say. Eh. So be it. It's only the third post since I'm lame anyways, so I'll probably post about other things someday. Anyhoo....
Today I taught 2nd grade science and 3rd grade art. The 3rd graders were especially hilarious.
Ashley: Mrs. Rodgers, does your mom work here?
Me: No. *puzzled look*
Ashley: Oh you look just like somebody else whose mom works here.
What are the chances that a woman who looks like me works here with her mom?
Thomas: Does she work at a different school?
Because obviously if she doesn't work here, we must work together at a different school since i'm a sub.
Me: Nope.
Jean: Where does she work?
Me: JoAnn Fabric. It's a craft store.
The children became very excited at this point and several began squawking at once.
Thomas: Ooooh my grandma's a quilter!
Alex: I've been there!
Ashley: I think I know her!
Doubt it.
Thomas: Me too!
Jean: What's her name?
Mrs. Rodgers's Mom.
Me: Rose.
Alex: What's her last name?
Me: Morris.
Alex (rhythmically): Rose Morris. Rose Morris. Rose Morris. I can rap that!
What the crap?
Me: Okay then. I'll be sure to let her know.
So, Mom, there's a 3rd grader that was rapping your name. Hahaha!
Josh: Are you married?
Yes, but not to the quarterback.
Tanya: Yeah, are you married?
Me: What does the "Mrs." tell you?
Tanya: Oh you're married!
Kaylee (to Josh): Why would you ask her if she's married? You're in 3rd grade! That's weird!
Me: It's not weird. He just wanted to know if I'm married. It's not like he asked me to marry him. Now that would be weird.
Then the wee little lads and lassies chortled uncontrollably.
Cameron: Mrs. Rodgers, do you believe in Santa?
Me: Yes.
Sam: Do you believe in the Easter Bunny?
Me: Hmm... let me think. Sure.
Sam: Well then that means you believe in God!
Wait.... WHAT?!?!?!?!
Voice of God (or maybe just the secretary): Mrs. Rodgers? Steve will be riding the bus home. There is a note in the office that he should pick up to give to his bus driver.
Jason: Steve, what bus are you driving?
Me: Steve, are you driving the bus today?! Wow!
Jan: You're funny!
Well, duh.
Justin: Mrs. Rodgers, can I draw a boomerang that is stuck in my tree.
Why is he even asking me this... just do it.
Me: I don't see why not, but it's your decision.
5 minutes later...
Kelly: Mrs. Rodgers, can I draw a boomerang in my tr...
Vance (interrupting): Can I draw a boomer...
Lacy (interrupting): Can I dr...
Me (interrupting): If you all draw a boomerang, is it an original idea anymore?
Vance: Yes!
I then received several confused looks and they went back to work.
Then there was one repeated mysterious occurrence. Directions for the art project were posted at the front of the room and we went over them. I had a few kids (in different classes) throughout the day ask if it was okay to start painting. The really weird thing was that by the time this happened, half the class was painting and the kids who asked me had already started. Uh... if they weren't it's a little too late. It's not like it comes out of the paper.
Whew! I usually don't get that much umm... creativeness in one school day.
